Get Yours or Go Home…

The Life and Times of Grandpa Parm & Scheme-On

Chemtrails…

Chemtrails…
You and me hit by a touch of white evil
(Environment, Health)
picture-11I’m all for the douchebags who propose to their girlfriends with a huge heart and arrow in the sky, but when it comes down to breathing in toxic chemicals against my will, I draw the line at whip-its. I’ll booze on Marina rooftops acting like I used to be in a frat for Fleet Week, but as soon as you tell me that government officials are directing the release of biological agents for purposes of geoengineering or population control, I’m fucking outta there. So what am I talking about? Chemtrails my friends, chemtrails. Aerial trails allegedly caused by the systematic high-altitude release of chemical substances not found in common forms of aerial spraying such as crop dusting, cloud seeding or aerial firefighting. The existence of these so-called chemtrails has been repeatedly denied by federal agencies for over a decade, and at the moment is still considered a conspiracy theory. Reasons given by those who believe in the theory vary between military weapons testing, chemical population control, or measures to mitigate global warming, which are all sketchy to say the least. Supposedly chemtrails can be differentiated from normal exhaust streams if they persist in the sky for hours and/or produce grid-like patterns that eventually blend to form large government death clouds. Other features may include the presence of color or high concentrations of trails in a single area. I could see the theory about trying to mitigate global warming proving out, although it would be hard to believe that the government would deliberately poison it’s own civilians. But wait, how many fast food joints, liquor and gun stores did you see on your way to work today? Either way, the next time you’re laying in the grass, sucking down a whip-it and calling out pictures in the clouds, you might want to hold your breath; Beck could be on to something…

Get Chemtrailed or Go Home
Scheme-On

Advertisements

January 31, 2009 Posted by | News | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Critical Mass…

Critical Mass…
Saving the World Two Wheels at a Time???
(News, Politics, Life)

Photobucket

San Francisco, CA, 10/4/08 – If I was hip enough to mash through the city on a fixed-gear, skidding down hills, weaving through traffic, tourists, and the homeless, all while drinking a Pabst and smoking a P-Funk, I would be that much cooler, I would get around that much faster, and I could hang out at Dolores Park on Sundays with a 22oz. and a bandana around my neck, but to be honest, I have enough close calls just fucking walking that I would probably end up dead under a Muni bus within a week. That being said, unfortunately I was not in attendance Friday, September 25th, 1992 at 6pm when a couple dozen cyclists took to the streets of SF to participate in an event, which at that time was known as “Commute Clot”. With hopes of drawing attention to how unfriendly the city was to bicyclists, this group of vigilantes reclaimed the streets for the evening. Soon after, Ted White’s documentary about bike culture overseas, Return of the Scorcher, effectively changed the name of the event, which is now attended by thousands upon thousands of cyclists every month in over 300 cities worldwide, to “Critical Mass”. The documentary depicted the Chinese phenomenon where traffic would “bunch up” at intersections without signals until the backlog reached a “critical mass”, at which point that mass would move through the intersection in an orderly manner. As the event has grown over the years the mass rides have been perceived in many different ways. Some see Critical Mass as a monthly environmental political-protest, characterized as part of a social movement, while others insist that the event is simply a “celebration” or spontaneous gathering. This allows Critical Mass to argue a legal position that its events can occur without advance notification of local police. As you can imagine, thousands of bicyclists taking over downtown areas of cities on a Friday at rush hour can cause some serious traffic issues and piss a lot of people off. Many critics have claimed that Critical Mass is a deliberate attempt to obstruct automotive traffic and disrupt normal city functions, which have caused numerous incidents between cyclists and motorists or authorities resulting in violence and arrests. So whether our two-wheeling friends are out there to save the world, disrupt societal functions, or just take a peaceful ride, come the last Friday of every month… the situation is critical.

Get Critical or Go Home…
Scheme-On

October 5, 2008 Posted by | Life, News, Politicos | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Can’t Stand the Heat…?

Can’t Stand the Heat…?
Then get your ass out the city!
(News, Careers)

Photobucket

San Francisco, CA, 9/21/08 – Dichotomy and juxtaposition are the essence of living on Post and Taylor in SF. Two blocks south you have crack heads, prostitutes, and the gangbangers of the Tenderloin. Two blocks north you have the pompous restaurant connoisseurs of upper Nob Hill. Two blocks east you have the clueless tourists of the Union Square hotels. And it’s all flooded with art students, restaurants, bars, clubs, galleries, and boutiques. That being said, when living here you’re forced to consume an auditory smorgasbord 25 hours a day, 8 days a week. Everything from your expected honking, to the drunken screams of twenty-somethings, mentally-ill homeless vets with turrets, construction, loud questionable bangs, but far and away the most common auditory experience comes in the form of sirens. However, this morning a little after 4am it wasn’t sirens that woke us from our peaceful slumber, but a very loud alarm from inside our apartment hallway. I immediately ran to the front windows and saw a street full of firemen, their equipment, and a large latter extending up to a building just a few doors down with smoke spewing out. Relieved that our building wasn’t the object of attention, my curiosity still forced me downstairs and out into the street with many other fascinated onlookers. Luckily, the building didn’t burn to the ground or anything, but it did displace six people and one firefighter was injured by falling debris. Seeing these dudes at work was impressive, and made me really appreciate the fact that there are people out there that are willing to put there lives on the line for poor schmucks like me and you. Not that there is even the slightest comparison, but seeing that shit go down last night made me think of 9/11 and how dope firefighters and paramedics are. Not to say that pigs don’t put their lives on the line for complete strangers, but when was the last time you heard about a corrupt firefighter or EMT? And if you’ve ever gotten an open container ticket by a dude wearing a helmet and oxygen tank, let me know and I’ll tell you you’re a fucking liar.

Get Charred or Go Home…
Scheme-On

September 22, 2008 Posted by | Careers, News | , , , , , | 2 Comments